I was driving the other day and as usual I was missing my grandbaby. She is 17 months old today. As I was thinking of her I started thinking of mom. She died at the age of 41 and never met any of her grandkids. Let alone her great grandkid. My mom was a huge lover of babies. I suddenly came to the realization that that is where I got my addiction for babies from. My wife is always telling me that I am going to get arrested for being a creeper because I always have to flirt with the babies.
Now you take into account that I am a total baby freak and then add that Olivia and I had such a great connection makes it even more difficult. It is like an addiction and I have lost my drug. Some days it hurts so much to think of her and knowing that I can't see her.
I don't know which part is worse? Not having contact with Olivia or having to have contact with her mother. I am pretty sure it is a no win situation.
Monday, March 13, 2017
Wow! The insanity continues!
You at some point believe that out of sight, out of mind. You feel you are grieving and getting to the point where you are excepting the fact that your granddaughter is gone for a long time. Then she has to pop back in to stir the shit just to let you know who is in charge. lol My son's current girlfriend gets a message from Kaylene that she had received a text from my son stating that he sometimes misses her. First off no one can say for sure that this is even true, second off the only reason to even send that is to cause turmoil. What an evil Bitch!
Then a week later we find out that she has called my son to let him know that she is serving him with papers to establish his visitation/custody. First off she wants to raise his child support to $700 a month. To some this may not sound like a lot, I mean he is a construction worker. However, She moved the week they moved into a home they had just purchased together. They purchased a faulty car and had the opportunity to trade and she said they didn't need too. Now he is stuck with a car payment as well for a piece of crap and a house payment living in a house by himself. I may be paranoid but does any of that seem planned? Anyway, increase in child support, assessments for anger management and alcohol abuse, and then comes the good stuff. She is planning a trip back to our area and his girlfriend and our family are not allowed to have contact with the child. Why is it so important to have him alone? No contact with his girlfriend? What kind of threat does she pose? They have been in a fairly long relationship. Now I know the reason for our family is to cause pain. The only problem with that is it caused more pain for my son than myself. I have no problem with no contact at this time because I am confident that sometime in the future that I will again be reunited with my granddaughter.
Yesterday Olivia turned 18 months old. She has been gone from our lives for 8 months. 8 months and she still feels that she needs to pop in and out of our lives just let us know we are not allowed visitation. It is starting to get very old. It's effect is not quite what it used to be.
Then a week later we find out that she has called my son to let him know that she is serving him with papers to establish his visitation/custody. First off she wants to raise his child support to $700 a month. To some this may not sound like a lot, I mean he is a construction worker. However, She moved the week they moved into a home they had just purchased together. They purchased a faulty car and had the opportunity to trade and she said they didn't need too. Now he is stuck with a car payment as well for a piece of crap and a house payment living in a house by himself. I may be paranoid but does any of that seem planned? Anyway, increase in child support, assessments for anger management and alcohol abuse, and then comes the good stuff. She is planning a trip back to our area and his girlfriend and our family are not allowed to have contact with the child. Why is it so important to have him alone? No contact with his girlfriend? What kind of threat does she pose? They have been in a fairly long relationship. Now I know the reason for our family is to cause pain. The only problem with that is it caused more pain for my son than myself. I have no problem with no contact at this time because I am confident that sometime in the future that I will again be reunited with my granddaughter.
Yesterday Olivia turned 18 months old. She has been gone from our lives for 8 months. 8 months and she still feels that she needs to pop in and out of our lives just let us know we are not allowed visitation. It is starting to get very old. It's effect is not quite what it used to be.
Sunday, January 22, 2017
Papa's Baby
Kaylene is the mother of Olivia. When Olivia was hurt she was mad and lashed out. She posted how she couldn't press charges for child endangerment because I was the grandfather and that I would never be allowed to be responsible for my grandbaby again. Other things were also said as well. Everything just totally blew up and out of proportion. Once it was stated that we would no longer see her we called my son to let him know to come get her stuff. Kaylene walks into my door like nothing has happened. When confronted on all the things she said she denied them. I came unglued. I told her to get the f@#$ out of my house. I have no respect for liars. Especially when everything is out there on texts and social media. It was not long after that that she took the baby and left.
I am not writing to make any excuses for my son because I truly do not know what happened. But they had just purchased a car together and a house together and then she moves? They had not been in the house for a week. I don't know if that was a planned get even or not.
We did not speak for a couple of months until my wife reached out and wanted to know if we came to Cali would we be able to see the baby. Her response at this point in time I have an answer for you but how did you plan on seeing her? We would drive out but it would not be right of way because we have to save money for the trip. She said well at this time I will have to say no. So my question is what the hell did it matter how or when we were coming? It was just another little game played to add to the hurt. This was in September.
Now in January was when my wife reached out to her mom. Her mom said she did not want to be in the middle and all decisions were up to Kaylene and that Kaylene felt she was owed an apology for being thrown out of the house. (or for being attacked as she put it) but she understood we missed her. I then write the first of this blog. I thought we were blocked but apparently not because my wife got an instant message from Kaylene. She writes that she is aware that we want to see Olivia. However at this point I feel like I deserve an apology for you cussing and throwing me out of the house. I thought an apology would help and maybe make my decision easier. But then I read Jeff's blog post and was shocked. Apparently you are not aware that I took Olivia to urgent care but was then directed to the hospital. I was then told there was a chance she could lose function in her hand. I had to take her to the burn unit in Omaha for treatment which I did once a week. As I watched them peel off the dead skin form her hand. Her hand was wrapped and hurt to crawl. CPS wanted to file a report but I told them that that was not necessary because I knew it was not done on purpose. However it was not a little burn. If you don't understand the severity of that then I don't know how to help you understand. Olivia is happy, healthy, and I can go to sleep knowing she is safe and loved. That to me is what matters. It would be appreciated if you leave myself and my family alone. Who Olivia sees is nobody's decision but mine.
I was not finished when I stopped so to Kaylene I was not trying to minimize the situation. I myself posted the picture of her little hand on facebook for everyone to see. It was a nasty burn which I have always said. I may be mistaken but I believe there was only 1 trip to Omaha and that was at your request. The peeling of her skin was the blisters coming off. Even the babysitter said she was getting around really good with her hand wrapped. You can not make me feel any worse for what happened yet you continually try. I had a bond with that little girl and you have done everything in your power to make sure that that never happens again. You made a comment about how my wife talked to your mom like an adult but not to you. I don't believe that to be true but I do believe that your immaturity shows through in almost everything you have said to us. You like to sensationalize and embellish the facts. The more you are the victim the better. I hope and pray that you mature and that these examples are not how you bring up my granddaughter. I totally understand now that I will not see her until the day she may want to meet us when she is older. That totally sucks but it is the perfect get even for you. She is a beautiful little girl and she means the world to me and you know it.
I can not even begin to express my sadness. This is loss that seems even worse than death. The grief can not go away because she is not dead, just gone from our lives. The is a hole in my heart and the pain sometimes is almost unbearable. People who know me know my love for kids. We have been foster parents. I have been a CASA volunteer and a FCRB member. I volunteer time at the school for several of the sports functions. I volunteer for a charity as Santa Clause. I LOVE KIDS! I think that is probably what makes this loss even more painful. I loved being a dad. Did I make mistakes? Hell yes I made mistakes. If I could do things over again would I make changes? Again yes there are things I would go back and change. However, I have only 1 regret and that is all. I gave a lot of time to my boys. I loved being outside with them, playing games with them, camping, fishing, and most of all hugs and loving them. I have 4 awesome boys. Are they perfect? No. But they are good and decent men and that is all I could really hope for. Now I have a daughter. I spoil the crap out of her. She gets way more than the boys and yet she also gets way less. Financially with only her in the home she gets more monetarily than the boys ever did. However, she gets far less of my time playing and doing activities than what the boys had. I personally would give up the money to be able to play outside with her more. Is it an even trade out? I don't know. But to know the love I have for all of my kids shows how much love I have for my granddaughter. Olivia will always have a special place in my heart. I will always hope that someday she is back in our lives. Until that day the tears will continue to fall.
I am not writing to make any excuses for my son because I truly do not know what happened. But they had just purchased a car together and a house together and then she moves? They had not been in the house for a week. I don't know if that was a planned get even or not.
We did not speak for a couple of months until my wife reached out and wanted to know if we came to Cali would we be able to see the baby. Her response at this point in time I have an answer for you but how did you plan on seeing her? We would drive out but it would not be right of way because we have to save money for the trip. She said well at this time I will have to say no. So my question is what the hell did it matter how or when we were coming? It was just another little game played to add to the hurt. This was in September.
Now in January was when my wife reached out to her mom. Her mom said she did not want to be in the middle and all decisions were up to Kaylene and that Kaylene felt she was owed an apology for being thrown out of the house. (or for being attacked as she put it) but she understood we missed her. I then write the first of this blog. I thought we were blocked but apparently not because my wife got an instant message from Kaylene. She writes that she is aware that we want to see Olivia. However at this point I feel like I deserve an apology for you cussing and throwing me out of the house. I thought an apology would help and maybe make my decision easier. But then I read Jeff's blog post and was shocked. Apparently you are not aware that I took Olivia to urgent care but was then directed to the hospital. I was then told there was a chance she could lose function in her hand. I had to take her to the burn unit in Omaha for treatment which I did once a week. As I watched them peel off the dead skin form her hand. Her hand was wrapped and hurt to crawl. CPS wanted to file a report but I told them that that was not necessary because I knew it was not done on purpose. However it was not a little burn. If you don't understand the severity of that then I don't know how to help you understand. Olivia is happy, healthy, and I can go to sleep knowing she is safe and loved. That to me is what matters. It would be appreciated if you leave myself and my family alone. Who Olivia sees is nobody's decision but mine.
I was not finished when I stopped so to Kaylene I was not trying to minimize the situation. I myself posted the picture of her little hand on facebook for everyone to see. It was a nasty burn which I have always said. I may be mistaken but I believe there was only 1 trip to Omaha and that was at your request. The peeling of her skin was the blisters coming off. Even the babysitter said she was getting around really good with her hand wrapped. You can not make me feel any worse for what happened yet you continually try. I had a bond with that little girl and you have done everything in your power to make sure that that never happens again. You made a comment about how my wife talked to your mom like an adult but not to you. I don't believe that to be true but I do believe that your immaturity shows through in almost everything you have said to us. You like to sensationalize and embellish the facts. The more you are the victim the better. I hope and pray that you mature and that these examples are not how you bring up my granddaughter. I totally understand now that I will not see her until the day she may want to meet us when she is older. That totally sucks but it is the perfect get even for you. She is a beautiful little girl and she means the world to me and you know it.
I can not even begin to express my sadness. This is loss that seems even worse than death. The grief can not go away because she is not dead, just gone from our lives. The is a hole in my heart and the pain sometimes is almost unbearable. People who know me know my love for kids. We have been foster parents. I have been a CASA volunteer and a FCRB member. I volunteer time at the school for several of the sports functions. I volunteer for a charity as Santa Clause. I LOVE KIDS! I think that is probably what makes this loss even more painful. I loved being a dad. Did I make mistakes? Hell yes I made mistakes. If I could do things over again would I make changes? Again yes there are things I would go back and change. However, I have only 1 regret and that is all. I gave a lot of time to my boys. I loved being outside with them, playing games with them, camping, fishing, and most of all hugs and loving them. I have 4 awesome boys. Are they perfect? No. But they are good and decent men and that is all I could really hope for. Now I have a daughter. I spoil the crap out of her. She gets way more than the boys and yet she also gets way less. Financially with only her in the home she gets more monetarily than the boys ever did. However, she gets far less of my time playing and doing activities than what the boys had. I personally would give up the money to be able to play outside with her more. Is it an even trade out? I don't know. But to know the love I have for all of my kids shows how much love I have for my granddaughter. Olivia will always have a special place in my heart. I will always hope that someday she is back in our lives. Until that day the tears will continue to fall.
Dedicated to Olivia
This is my first attempt at blogging. It was suggested that this may help with my pain and sadness. This is dedicated to my granddaughter Olivia whom I am not allowed to see.
This story starts over a year ago. My son met a girl. Isn't that how they all start? She was originally from California and had moved to Iowa. She was not an immediate fit with the family and especially my wife. I believe my wife was the first one to actually see through her. I did not. I actually liked her when they first started coming over. Months go by and they stop by the house. They let us know that they are pregnant. Holy Crap! I was so excited. I was telling them that I was available for babysitting anytime. We could make up a room for the baby and we could do this and we could do that and they next said that they were moving to California. I couldn't speak. The air was taken from me. I knew if I spoke I was going to start crying. How can you have the most exciting news and then have it taken away?
They moved to Cali. My son hated it out there. It was hard to find a job that would pay enough to live. They had to live with her parents. He kept calling about how unhappy he was there. We were making plans to travel the 1200 miles in October after the baby was born, and my first grandbaby was born Sept 12th.
We drove out to California in October. Olivia was 3 weeks old when we got there. I loved her immediately. My wife, son, and daughter who also made the trip, had to fight me to be able to hold her. She was and is so precious. We got to meet the other grandparents and spent the day at their home. They are really good people and enjoyed the time we spent with them. We finished our stay with sadness not knowing when we would see our baby and son again.
My son called a few weeks later saying that they were planning to move back to Iowa next in 6 months. OMG! They are coming home! I am telling them I will come out and help move. I will drive a haul, or bring my pickup, whatever was needed. My son tells me that there is no need, he has friends coming to help. I was a little sad and excited at the same time. The next day they are at our door. They were already on the road when they called. I could not contain myself. I was so happy! My son is home and of course my grandbaby is home! Let the babysitting and spoiling begin.
We were watching her every week and usually every weekend. I loved it. She was my bestest buddy. She was like a little monkey with me. Crawling and climbing all over me. She would hardly let anyone else hold her. We played and laughed so much. Her mother would come to pick her up and she sometimes would have a fit because she didn't want to leave. I was so happy. We were so happy.
My son and his girl friend liked to party. There is a lot of he said/she said of everything that happened between them. Alcohol abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse. I know their relationship was not a good one. I know that neither of them were happy. During this time I had just bought a motorcycle. It had been a while since I had had one. We were watching the baby, I had just got done riding, I had the baby in the car seat while working around the yard. My daughter asked if she could take baby out of the car seat. I wasn't paying attention and she crawled to the motorcycle and leaned against the tail pipe to stand up. She got a pretty nasty burn on her hand. Several blisters on her palm. She screamed and nothing I did could make her feel better. I called her mom and told her what happened and she came to get her. She showed up with a friend and was pretty upset. She said she was going to take her to the hospital and that she was not happy with me. I told her I totally understood. I would be upset as well. I said I was very sorry for what happened and she had to know I hurt almost as much as Olivia. I didn't think it necessary to take her to the hospital because all they would do was put burn cream on and wrap it. Which is pretty much what they did. That was the last day I was allowed to see my grandbaby. That was in early July it is now January 22nd. It has been 6 months. I missed her 1st birthday, Christmas as a 1 year old when the box and wrapping paper are more important than the gift.
This story starts over a year ago. My son met a girl. Isn't that how they all start? She was originally from California and had moved to Iowa. She was not an immediate fit with the family and especially my wife. I believe my wife was the first one to actually see through her. I did not. I actually liked her when they first started coming over. Months go by and they stop by the house. They let us know that they are pregnant. Holy Crap! I was so excited. I was telling them that I was available for babysitting anytime. We could make up a room for the baby and we could do this and we could do that and they next said that they were moving to California. I couldn't speak. The air was taken from me. I knew if I spoke I was going to start crying. How can you have the most exciting news and then have it taken away?
They moved to Cali. My son hated it out there. It was hard to find a job that would pay enough to live. They had to live with her parents. He kept calling about how unhappy he was there. We were making plans to travel the 1200 miles in October after the baby was born, and my first grandbaby was born Sept 12th.
We drove out to California in October. Olivia was 3 weeks old when we got there. I loved her immediately. My wife, son, and daughter who also made the trip, had to fight me to be able to hold her. She was and is so precious. We got to meet the other grandparents and spent the day at their home. They are really good people and enjoyed the time we spent with them. We finished our stay with sadness not knowing when we would see our baby and son again.
My son called a few weeks later saying that they were planning to move back to Iowa next in 6 months. OMG! They are coming home! I am telling them I will come out and help move. I will drive a haul, or bring my pickup, whatever was needed. My son tells me that there is no need, he has friends coming to help. I was a little sad and excited at the same time. The next day they are at our door. They were already on the road when they called. I could not contain myself. I was so happy! My son is home and of course my grandbaby is home! Let the babysitting and spoiling begin.
We were watching her every week and usually every weekend. I loved it. She was my bestest buddy. She was like a little monkey with me. Crawling and climbing all over me. She would hardly let anyone else hold her. We played and laughed so much. Her mother would come to pick her up and she sometimes would have a fit because she didn't want to leave. I was so happy. We were so happy.
My son and his girl friend liked to party. There is a lot of he said/she said of everything that happened between them. Alcohol abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse. I know their relationship was not a good one. I know that neither of them were happy. During this time I had just bought a motorcycle. It had been a while since I had had one. We were watching the baby, I had just got done riding, I had the baby in the car seat while working around the yard. My daughter asked if she could take baby out of the car seat. I wasn't paying attention and she crawled to the motorcycle and leaned against the tail pipe to stand up. She got a pretty nasty burn on her hand. Several blisters on her palm. She screamed and nothing I did could make her feel better. I called her mom and told her what happened and she came to get her. She showed up with a friend and was pretty upset. She said she was going to take her to the hospital and that she was not happy with me. I told her I totally understood. I would be upset as well. I said I was very sorry for what happened and she had to know I hurt almost as much as Olivia. I didn't think it necessary to take her to the hospital because all they would do was put burn cream on and wrap it. Which is pretty much what they did. That was the last day I was allowed to see my grandbaby. That was in early July it is now January 22nd. It has been 6 months. I missed her 1st birthday, Christmas as a 1 year old when the box and wrapping paper are more important than the gift.
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